Going Past Noon Again

They really let their true colors shine this time as they talk about ways to get the pastor to shorten the service. This leads Frank into a discussion on what Heaven will be like, with his warped and crazy ideas. Then they arrive at their favorite restaurant, which is now very crowded.

One couple. About 8-9 mins.

Excerpt:

As the scene opens, we see Frank and Edith hurrying to their car. They get in quickly.
FRANK
It’s no use. We’ll never make it.
EDITH
Are you sure? You never know, dear.
FRANK
Well, we can give it a try, but it’s so late already!
EDITH
I dodged everyone I could. I think there were at least three people wanting to talk to me that I managed to get away from.
FRANK
You did good… but when the service doesn’t even let out till 12:15…
Frank pantomimes driving the car off the parking lot and down the street.
EDITH
I know. He was really long winded today, wasn’t he?
FRANK
Today?! It’s getting worse all the time. Every week now I find myself thinking, “well…he’s going past noon again!” I can see what is happening here. He’s getting us used to having the service go past noon and then he will keep adding more minutes. Pretty soon, we’ll be happy when 12:15 is the end time. Noon will be a thing of the past.
EDITH
I don’t understand it. Doesn’t he have a watch or a clock up there telling him what time it is? I thought they watched that sort of thing.
FRANK
It’s all poor sermon planning, dear. They are taught how to do that in seminary. The problem is that he just prepares too much to preach on. He either goes too far into the passage or has too many verses to look up… stuff like that. It’s poor planning. A good preacher knows how to end the sermon on time and get the people out by noon.
EDITH
Well, I have to confess, something. When my watch beeps 12:00, my mind just shuts off and I am no longer listening to the message. I automatically start thinking about Chicken Alfredo. When I think about Chicken Alfredo, I go into another world…while he’s still preaching. Next thing I know…Jesus shows up in my world and raises my Chicken Alfredo from the dead and it makes me so mad!
FRANK
Edith…what in the world are you talking about?
EDITH
I’m sorry, Frank. That was terrible wasn’t it?
FRANK
Not at all. No one expects you to pay attention after the clock hits 12. He should know better than even try it. I just didn’t recognize the dish you were talking about. Is that from Garlic Garden?
EDITH
Yes, Frank! Haven’t you had that one?
FRANK
I’m wondering if we should even attempt Garlic Garden today. You know the place will be packed! All those churches that got out at noon have a huge head start on us!
EDITH
I know how much you hate waiting in line.
FRANK
If all the good places are packed up… we may end up at Danny’s.
EDITH
(very disappointed)
Oh Frank.
FRANK
This is so upsetting.
EDITH
Maybe you should say something to Pastor Steve.
FRANK
What? How would that look? We’re pillars of the church! We can’t complain about the length of the sermon. It would sound like getting to a restaurant on time was more important than the worship service.
EDITH
But isn’t that…?
FRANK
We both know better than that, Edith…but you can’t convince the man who is preaching.
EDITH
So, we aren’t wrong in wanting the service to end by noon?
FRANK
Of course not.
EDITH
Well, you know so much more about these things, Frank.
FRANK
And we’re not alone either. Didn’t you see some of the others hurrying to their cars as well?
EDITH
I was so focused on just getting out that I didn’t notice. Well, I did notice brother Waylon.
FRANK
Ha! Waylon starts fidgeting in his seat as soon as my watch hits 12. I tell you, its like clockwork. Why do you think he and Lynn sit by the aisle? I think they sneak out the side door and don’t even greet the pastor! They’re probably at the restaurant by now.
EDITH
Frank…that’s what we do. We sneak out the side door.
FRANK
Well, if this thing doesn’t get any better… they’re going to have to widen that door, because it will be getting more and more crowded.