Still In His Pajamas

Sometimes humorous and sometimes serious, this skit ends with her realizing the good things that she finds in her new situation.

Two women. About 7-8 mins.

Excerpt:

VIVIAN
Oh, Hi Marge! How are you?
MARGE
Am I interrupting your chores?
VIVIAN
No this is fine. I was just getting ready to fold my laundry. (She continues picking up clothes while talking) It was actually kind of funny. I always throw my clothes in that big chair I have, and I didn’t see Harold sitting there, so I dumped a pile of clothes on his head! (Laughs)
MARGE
Oh, that is funny! So what is it like having Harold home all the time now?
VIVIAN
Well, let me tell you…it has been very interesting. It’s like my life is turned completely upside down! Things have been a certain way for what? 40 years? Now, suddenly…I have this man in my house! All the time! My schedule and my routine are totally shot!
MARGE
I can imagine that it would be quite an adjustment.
VIVIAN
Well, listen…I get ready to go somewhere and he wants to know where I am going…and I start a project and he wants to know what I’m doing…and then ‘when is lunch ready?’, or ‘when will dinner be ready?’ You know, I make my own lunch every day… and I guess that idea just never occurs to him!
MARGE
I think all men are like that.
VIVIAN
He’s also very messy! Suddenly I find things lying around the house! I never knew he was such a slob! He will come into the kitchen and fix himself a snack and then I find all these crumbs and dirty dishes and what have you… all over my kitchen!
MARGE
Sounds like you got it bad, Viv! I’m sure you knew your husband was like this… but when it is concentrated because he is retired and around the house…24/7…then it really stands out.
VIVIAN
Oh, I guess I shouldn’t say such negative things. I mean, he is my husband and I love him…but I just wish that he would find something to do with himself! He really needs a hobby or some outside interest. I wish I could get him to volunteer for something so I could get him out of the house.
MARGE
So, he never leaves the house?
VIVIAN
Oh, he does go out sometimes… but when he does, he wants me to go with him!! Now, I’m all for togetherness and all that, but when I spend all my time running around town with him, nothing else gets done. Then he wants to know why the house isn’t clean, or the laundry isn’t done. Honestly!
MARGE
I think we need our space, you know? You have your routine and things that you do all the time, and they are things that you have done for years without anyone around to mess it up. Now he is here. He needs to find his routine, that’s what he needs to do.
VIVIAN
I would be glad to give him all the space that he needs, if it would just keep him out of mine!
MARGE
It is hard to have someone around who keeps a different schedule than you and is suddenly in the places you are used to having to yourself.
VIVIAN
Oh, you are so right! That is exactly what I’m saying! Why, the other day…the door bell rang and it was the Avon lady. Well, Harold was still in his pajamas and sitting on the couch. It was about 10:00 in the morning! I had to send him running before I answered the door.
MARGE
Still in his pajamas?