Life, Death and Two Strips of Bacon

There is a lot of humor as the girls have a contest to see who can get the customers to order strange items that are not on the menu, and some interaction with some of the customers.  We are introduced to Johnny, the cook, (another lead character) who hates his life and dreams of leaving the small town and trying to make it in the big city.  Carrie Ann is a young mother working at the diner who tries to share the Lord with Johnny.  A sudden tragedy rocks the town when a bus crash kills some kids and Johnny learns that his best friend was the driver who was also killed.  The sheriff shares how he lost a brother in a similar crash back in 1981 and he tells how he got through that, and shares how he came to Christ at that time.  Johnny is moved by his testimony and gets right with God as well.  Johnny does leave town, but with a new lease on life and in an upbeat manner.  The play ends on a humorous note as they get back to their funny contest.  The play could be done any time of year and the references to Christmas easily removed.

Cast of 15 plus extras.  (written as 2 males, 8 females and 5 children)  Some of the customers can be easily changed to men.  Two extras are a senior couple.  Runs about 50-60 min.

CAST OF CHARACTERS:

CARRIE ANN:  Speaks 1525 words.  She is a young waitress with a baby at home and she is lively, funny and knows the Lord.

RON:  Speaks 1363 words.  Christian sheriff the town loves.

JOHNNY:  Speaks 1233 words.  Diner cook who hates his life.

SERENA:  Speaks 1218 words.  Young waitress full of spunk.

MADELINE:  Speaks 1062 words.  Head waitress & mother of three.  She doesn’t always say things the right way.

BABBS:  Speaks 336 words.  The oldest waitress with seniority

EVIE:  Speaks 308 words.  A regular who works at City Hall.

DOLLY:  Speaks 212 words.  An indecisive customer.

FRANCINE:  Speaks 151 words.  A stranger passing through town

PETE:  Speaks 103 words.  Madeline’s boy.

OREL:  Speaks 62 words.  Madeline’s boy.

KELLY:  Speaks 53 words.  Customer

ALLIE:  Speaks 50 words.  Customer

LUCY:  Speaks 44 words.  Madeline’s girl.

NICK:  Speaks 26 words.  Customer, Orel’s friend.

EXTRAS:  Other customers.

The hardest part of this play will be coming up with a set that looks like a diner.  There are no scene changes and if you can put together tables and a counter, you have most of it done.  A second counter in the back could be the kitchen, with the cook facing the audience, or possibly out of view.  Another prop that could be difficult to find would be a jukebox.  Possibly something else could substitute for that or one be made.  Costumes would be waitress outfits and the cook wears an apron.  The Sheriff may need a uniform.  Preparing actual food that gets eaten will also be tricky, but you might be able to work around that, like nobody actually eats anything.

Excerpt:

SCENE ONE:
As the lights come up we see a diner and one employee, Madeline enters and throws her purse on the counter and sets down a donut box.  She walks across the stage to the jukebox in the corner and begins playing an upbeat tune.  As she moves to the music, she opens the donut box and puts the donuts under the glass cover. Then she finds the sweeper/mop and sweeps/mops the floor a bit.  She could even be singing along.  Babbs enters and stops to stare at her.  Madeline notices and stops dancing.  The music fades into the background as they start talking.
BABBS
Sister…it’s far too early in the day to be exuding that much energy!
MADELINE
Now you know my little secret.  This gets me going in the morning.
BABBS
Oh yeah?  I think I’ll stick to my cup of coffee.
She heads toward the kitchen
BABBS
Hey…does that thing play any Christmas Carols?
MADELINE
Oh…I think maybe it does!  What a great idea!  We need to get our customers in the Christmas mood.
BABBS
I need something to get me in a working mood!  Java! Java!
Madeline goes to the jukebox and selects some Christmas music that plays quietly in the background.  Madeline goes behind the counter and puts her purse away and starts getting things ready for business.  Dolly enters.
DOLLY
Are you open for business?
BABBS
Ask the dancing machine!
DOLLY
Dancing Machine?
MADELINE
That would be me.  Sure, come on in!  Our cook isn’t here yet, though.  I can fix you a cup of coffee.
DOLLY
Don’t really drink coffee.  Can I get some eggs?
She takes a seat
MADELINE
Like I said, our cook isn’t here, yet.  Would you like some orange juice while you wait?
DOLLY
Not really an orange juice kind of person…can you make those eggs scrambled?
MADELINE
Sure…as soon as the cook gets…
BABBS
I’ll do the eggs.
Heads to the cooking area to get started.
MADELINE
Thanks, Babbs.
BABBS
How hard can eggs be?
MADELINE
Would you like anything with those eggs?
DOLLY
Like what for instance?
MADELINE
I dunno…the regular stuff…bacon?  Sausage?  Hot cakes?
DOLLY
I’m not that fond of hot cakes.  Maybe bacon…
MADELINE
(Yells)
Ya got that, Babbs?  Fix some bacon!
DOLLY
On second thought…I’m not really in the mood for any meat.
MADELINE
(Yells)
Cut the bacon!
DOLLY
What other choices do you have?
MADELINE
Would you like to see a menu?  Perhaps some hash browns?
She hands her a menu.
DOLLY
You mentioned sausage…would that be pork?
MADELINE
Yep.
DOLLY
Yeah… I don’t really eat pork…
MADELINE
Plus you’re not in the mood for meat.
DOLLY
Huh?
MADELINE
How ‘bout we chop up some onions and peppers and tomatoes and toss them in your eggs?
DOLLY
(Makes a face)
You mean…mix them up with the eggs?
MADELINE
Or you could select something from the menu.
DOLLY
I don’t know…let me think.  You have a lot on your menu.  So much to choose from.  Sometimes too many choices makes it harder to decide.  I don’t know…(After a pause) Maybe those hash browns… that sounded good.
MADELINE
(Yells)
Fry up some spuds, Babbs!
(Back to Dolly)
Those will take a little while, sweetie, because we use fresh potatoes.
DOLLY
Hash browns are potatoes?
MADELINE
Yeah…what did you think they were…turnips?
DOLLY
But potatoes…I don’t know…that’s a lot of carbs.
MADELINE
(Yells)
Hold the carbs!  …uh..the spuds!
DOLLY
Maybe I’ll just have a glass of juice.
MADELINE
Apple or tomato?
DOLLY
Those are my only choices?
MADELINE
We have orange… but you’re..
TOGETHER
…not really an orange juice kind of person.
DOLLY
What about grapefruit?  Do you have grapefruit juice?
MADELINE
(Yells)
Babbs, do we have any grapefruit juice?
BABBS
We might!  Let me check.
DOLLY
I don’t really want any…I was just curious.  Usually grapefruit is one of the choices.
MADELINE
(Yells)
Babbs!  Never mind on the GJ!
(Back to Dolly)
How about a glass of milk, sweetie?
DOLLY
Milk?  No…I’m lactose intolerant.  I just don’t know what to decide on…isn’t that funny?
(Madeline smiles big and fake)
(Dolly suddenly decides)
You know what?  I think I’m just going to go across the street and get a donut.
MADELINE
Huh?  Oh!  Alright…suit yourself!
DOLLY
Thanks!  Have a good day!
She exits.
MADELINE
(Mumbling to herself sarcastically)
Yeah…no carbs in that!
BABBS
Eggs are up!
MADELINE
Ya hungry?
BABBS
What?
MADELINE
She left.  Opted out for donuts.  No protein…just fat.
BABBS
We have donuts.
MADELINE
(Realization)
I picked some up on my way in!  Never thought of it.  (Pause) To be honest…I was kind of glad to see her go.  Isn’t that terrible?  I tell ya Babbs…sometimes my patience runs really thin with some people. Like syrup on pancakes when they want it heated.  Wanna split the eggs with me?  I haven’t had breakfast.
Carrie Ann enters.
CARRIE ANN
Sorry I’m late!  Mrs. Carlile was very yakkity this morning.
MADELINE
How is that working out?
CARRIE ANN
Good, I guess.
MADELINE
Does Hunter like her?
CARRIE ANN
He loves her!  I’m just not sure she loves him.  He can be a handful.  At least he isn’t fighting me every day when I drop him off.
MADELINE
Is she cost effective?
CARRIE ANN
It’s not cheap.  But I guess it’s worth it.  I feel bad today…guilty really.  I handed him to her and I didn’t say anything…and…well, I know he made a deposit just as I got there.
BABBS
Made a deposit?
MADELINE
Don’t ask.
CARRIE ANN
You don’t smell anything do you?
MADELINE
Smell anything?
CARRIE ANN
I was holding him at the time.  I just don’t want to have that smell on my clothes.
MADELINE
I think you’re fine.
CARRIE ANN
Hey…we gonna keep our contest going today?
MADELINE
What, the ordering contest?
CARRIE ANN
Yeah!  I talked to Serena about it and she definitely wants in.
MADELINE
I don’t know.  It’s awfully silly.
CARRIE ANN
Oh, come on!  It will keep up morale!
MADELINE
I suppose we could use a morale boomer around here.
CARRIE ANN
Isn’t that booster?
MADELINE
Yeah…I’m just not sure about talking customers into things that they might not want.
CARRIE ANN
Maddie…you know that most of our customers don’t know what they want!
MADELINE
Yeah…I just had one like that.  Ya want some eggs?
CARRIE ANN
Huh?
MADELINE
They’re probably cold by now.
BABBS
I already ate ‘em.
CARRIE ANN
What happened?  Did you have a difficult customer already this morning?
MADELINE
Let’s just say that she wasn’t the brightest bulb on the tree!
CARRIE ANN
Oh…Okay.  (Pause) So, Maddie…what are you getting me for Christmas?
MADELINE
For Christmas!
CARRIE ANN
Yeah!  I’m expecting something really nice!
MADELINE
In your dreams!
CARRIE ANN
I can dream up some pretty good stuff!  What about you, Babbs?  Buying me something nice?
BABBS
Ha!
CARRIE ANN
Hey…where’s Johnny?
MADELINE
Your guess is as good as his!
CARRIE ANN
(Correcting her then moving on)
Mine…um…Do you get the feeling that he’s not really that happy?
MADELINE
What was your first clue?  The constant frown on his face or the way he snips at you when you ask him a question?
CARRIE ANN
It’s too bad.  He’s really a nice guy once you get to know him.
MADELINE
Okay…now I don’t know who you’re talking about.  I tell ya Carrie Ann…that boy needs to check his attitude at the coat rack!

Later…

CARRIE ANN
You’re a writer aren’t you?
JOHNNY
I’d like to think so.  But not in this town!  I gotta blow this taco stand and get to a big city.
CARRIE ANN
So, there you think you can find who you really are?
JOHNNY
I better.
CARRIE ANN
Who is that do you think?
JOHNNY
Johnny Hound Dog Journalist….I don’t now.  But if I stay in this town…I’ll probably end up like that old couple over there!
CARRIE ANN
Mr. And Mrs. Fowler?  What’s wrong with them?
JOHNNY
They’re old and sad.
CARRIE ANN
They’re not sad.  They’re sweet.
JOHNNY
But look at them!  What have they got?  They got nuthin!  First of all, they come here for lunch every day… that says a lot about them right there!  They don’t work anymore.  What do they do but watch TV and read the paper?  The body starts falling apart when you are old and you have to take a ton of pills just to stay alive.  They look sad and pitiful.
CARRIE ANN
Have you ever talked to them?  They probably have a lot to say.  I bet they have had a full and wonderful life.  And they’re still together in their old age.  I hope I can still be around at that age and be sitting across the table from the man I love and have spent the majority of my life with.  Those two are at the point in their lives now when they can sit back and reflect on their lives and their accomplishments and their family and have good memories and be proud of what they have done.  It’s a very rich time.
JOHNNY
But look at them!  They’re old.  Who are they?  They’re nobody!  Because they are still in this town and this town is a nobody town!  I want to be somebody and accomplish something!
CARRIE ANN
So, who’s stopping you?  If that’s what you want, then go and get it.
JOHNNY
Yeah…you need money and you need connections… I got nuthin!
CARRIE ANN
Then give up.  Just sit here all your life working as a cook and die a lonely and sick old man.  I really think its up to you, Johnny.  Don’t blame the town.  (Pause) You know what your biggest need is, don’t you?
JOHNNY
What’s that?
CARRIE ANN
You need the Lord.
JOHNNY
Oh, Carrie Ann!  Come on.  What is God doing for you?  How is He helping you?  You got that kid and you got this crummy job…
CARRIE ANN
Hey!  I love my son!  And I’m very grateful to have this job.  God is doing a lot in my life!  You really can’t tell me that my life is lousy like yours.  I am a very blessed person!  You just don’t understand because you don’t know Him.
JOHNNY
Hey…I used to go to church…but it got me nowhere.  I don’t see how following God is going to change things.
CARRIE ANN
That’s because you are looking at what you think you need in a material way… and not a spiritual way.
Orel runs in all excited (in a bad way)
OREL
Mom!  Did you hear?  There was a big bus crash this morning and a bunch of kids got killed!
Everyone looks up in shock
NICK
No foolin’?
OREL
Everybody’s talking about it!
BABBS
Are you sure, Orel?
RON
He’s right, Babbs.  I’m afraid 9 people were killed.
BABBS
Oh my stars!  It’s 1981 all over again!
The Fowlers reach across the table and take each other’s hand and bow their heads.  All other employees have entered at this point.
RON
It was the youth group from Fellowship Chapel.  There were 18 survivors including the youth pastor.  The driver and 8 kids died.  I’ve been over there all morning…it’s horrible.
Johnny jumps up from the table
JOHNNY
Wait!  Sheriff, did you say Fellowship Chapel?
RON
Yes.
JOHNNY
Do you know if there was a Matt Taylor on that bus?
RON
Matt Taylor?  Is he a kid?  Because I don’t know all the names…
JOHNNY
No… he’s my age.
RON
Oh…wait.  The bus driver…yes, it was Matthew Taylor.  You know him?
JOHNNY
He’s my best friend.
RON
I’m so sorry, Johnny.  He wasn’t one of the survivors.
JOHNNY
What happened?
RON
It appears that everyone was asleep when it happened.  Even the driver.  They had been driving all night.
CARRIE ANN
Johnny…I…
JOHNNY
(Still in shock)
He told me that he was going on this little trip with a bunch of kids from his church.
CARRIE ANN
Johnny, was Matt a Christian?
JOHNNY
Huh?  What?  Oh, yeah…of course.  It’s all he talked about.  Just like you.
CARRIE ANN
Well if it’s any consolation…you can be comforted in knowing…
JOHNNY
What?  Consolation?  What??  What are you talking about?  Just hold on a minute here!  My best friend and 8 kids were just killed!  There is no comfort in knowing that!!  This is going to ruin Christmas!  How are any of us going to have a good Christmas this year!  This is just messed up!  It’s really messed up!
He exits.
SERENA
That’s all he needs!  He’s already down in the mouth all the time, now he’s got to deal with this.