Lipstick

Personal things get shared and what should be sad is actually funny. You see, Marguerite is foreign and she doesn’t always understand what is being said and often gets things wrong. Sometimes humor is the best way to get the point across. Liver spots on a mother’s hands become spots on her own liver and they begin to talk about her death. A lip injection is mistaken to be a liposuction. You will have fun teaching this important lesson and get made over at the same time. This is similar to the sketch “Lip Service”.

3 actresses. About 14-15 mins.

Excerpt:

JOELLEN
Oh boy! I love checking out new lipstick! Oh…look at this one… midnight starlight. What is that?
MARGUERITE
Dark blue with glitter.
JOELLEN
Oh. Maybe not. How about lovely lilac?
MARGUERITE
Well, if we did a matching eye shadow and you wore a purple outfit. You want me to pick?
JOELLEN
You’re the expert! So, how’s Roxanne doing? I haven’t seen her in awhile.
MARGUERITE
Oh…it’s very sad.
JOELLEN
What is?
MARGUERITE
Her liver.
JOELLEN
Her lover?
MARGUERITE
No! Not lover! Liver!
JOELLEN
Her liver? There is something wrong with her liver?
MARGUERITE
I don’t know if I understand it right, but she has spots.
JOELLEN
Spots on her liver?
MARGUERITE
I know for sure that she has spots. Well, she didn’t exactly say SHE had them… she said “a friend”, but you know what that means?
JOELLEN
Oh yes. They always say “a friend” when they mean themselves. So she has spots…
MARGUERITE
She said it more than one time.
JOELLEN
That sounds bad. Spots on your liver! She looked chipper when she left. Such a brave woman, huh?
MARGUERITE
She was very brave. She saw a doctor and he wants to remove it.
JOELLEN
The spots or the liver?
MARGUERITE
The spots I think. I don’t know, maybe the liver!
JOELLEN
Now that sounds really serious! Having your liver removed? If she is having her liver removed, then it must be cancer. Can you live without a liver?
MARGUERITE
You think she could die?
JOELLEN
I don’t know.
MARGUERITE
Well, she did say something about the doctor said she would not be happy with how it all turns out.
JOELLEN
Really? The doctor said that?
MARGUERITE
I think so. Something about it being a very high risk and that it would hurt a lot. I know I heard that.
JOELLEN
Marguerite! You need to take notes!
MARGUERITE
I guess so, huh!
JOELLEN
Oh…poor Roxanne. She must be in a lot of pain! Do you suppose she drinks? You know, they say that alcohol destroys your liver.
MARGUERITE
I didn’t know that Roxanne was a drinker. You just never know about people, do you?
JOELLEN
Poor thing. She’s probably waiting for a liver transplant. I hope she can get one in time.
MARGUERITE
I feel so sad. I wish I had done more for her.
JOELLEN
She looked really good. I hope I look that good when I’m dead.
MARGUERITE
She’s not dead yet!
JOELLEN
I know, but you know what I mean. For someone who is on death’s door, she looks pretty good. She still has all her hair. (Pause) You don’t suppose she was wearing a wig!
MARGUERITE
A wig? You think?
JOELLEN
They make them look so real nowadays. I can never tell. You know, the new choir director at church wears one.