As she leaves, another lady from church shows up and the information is shared, but not very accurately. By the time Marguerite hears it, it is totally wrong and she always gets things mixed up anyway because she is foreign and doesn’t always understand what is being said. What ends up being a serious case of gossip turns into a funny end when the original woman returns to be greeted by a distraught Marguerite. This is similar to the sketch “Lipstick”.5 females (one part is very small) about 15 mins.
Excerpt:
MARGUERITE
Well…well…look who we have here! Louisa and Marjorie!
MARGIE
Margie
LOUISE
Louise
MARGIE
Great to see you Marguerite! I wish you had done my make-over! I have to run… see you ladies at church!
BOTH
Bye!
MARGUERITE
Well…looks like you have the make-up going well already.
LOUISE
Well, we were talking and I just sort of started fooling around with it. I’m sure I didn’t do it right since my mind was totally elsewhere.
MARGUERITE
I’ll touch it up…not to worry.
LOUISE
That conversation just left me rather numb. It really upset me now that I’m thinking about it.
MARGUERITE
Really? You are upset! What makes you upset?
LOUISE
It’s so sad. Just before I got here, our friend Diane was here.
MARGUERITE
Diana Bleedsoe?
LOUISE
Yes. And she was telling Margie all about her husband and their marriage…
MARGUERITE
What happened? Are they having marriage problems? Divorce?
LOUISE
Oh…major! I think David has flipped out or something. He did something at work and got himself fired. It might have had something to do with him not being a union member…you know how they hate scabs…
MARGUERITE
He has scabs? Did he get hurt?
LOUISE
Well, that’s not the worst part. He’s been out of work so long that they are financially stripped…
MARGUERITE
He strips?
LOUISE
No…they have no money.
MARGUERITE
Oh dear.
LOUISE
And now there is violence!
MARGUERITE
Violins? I didn’t know he played! Does it pay well?
LOUISE
No. Violence. He is getting violent.
MARGUERITE
How do you mean?
LOUISE
Well, she said something about her almost getting her head knocked off… which sounds like he hit her hard on her head.
MARGUERITE
In the face? That’s terrible!
LOUISE
I didn’t see her, but Margie said that she didn’t see any bruises.
MARGUERITE
You can cover them up with make-up. Oh dear! Poor Diana! She should call the police.
LOUISE
The man needs help, obviously! You know, men put so much stock in their jobs…that is who they are! They define themselves by their vocations.
MARGUERITE
Do you think taking a vacation would help?
LOUISE
No…VO-cations. Careers. When that falls out from under them… they can really lose it! There is nothing worse for a man than to be out of work.
MARGUERITE
My husband is out of work right now.
LOUISE
No! Seriously?
MARGUERITE
Well, he’s just between jobs. He’s looking. I’m sure something will turn up soon.
LOUISE
Oh dear. You be careful! This thing with Diane and David could be a sign for you! It’s a warning.
MARGUERITE
Pierre would never be like that.
LOUISE
Well, I would say the same thing about my husband. But we all know David Bledsoe! Who would have thought? (Looking straight ahead as if in a mirror) Oh, Marguerite…that looks so nice. You always do such good work. Let me tip you.
MARGUERITE
Oh no… these are all free today, remember?
LOUISE
Yes, I know…but your husband is out of work and you could end up…well, who knows? You take this. (She pulls some bills out of her purse and puts them into her hands) I just wish there was something I could do for Diane. You take care, sweetie!
Louise exits and Marguerite sits in the chair and thinks. Diane enters again.
DIANE
Marguerite! You are working today!
MARGUERITE
Oh Diana! You poor dear! I know all about it! Let me look at you. Are you hiding something under the make-up?
DIANE
A few pimples maybe.
MARGUERITE
Don’t be afraid. I know about the bruises. You will survive this! Here…take this. You need it worse than I do. Someone just gave it to me, but I want you to have it. (Puts the money in her hand)
DIANE
Marguerite! What on earth?
MARGUERITE
Do you need a place to go? If he is crazy, then you should not stay there. Call the police!
DIANE
Who? What are you talking about?
MARGUERITE
David!
DIANE
My David? What about him?
MARGUERITE
Oh! You are in denial.
DIANE
Apparently. What is going on? I’ve never seen you like this!
MARGUERITE
Divorce is very sad… but if he hits you…you can’t stay with him!
DIANE
David has never hit me! Marguerite!
MARGUERITE
He needs a new vacation! I know! But I don’t think stripping is the answer!
DIANE
You aren’t making a lick of sense! Who told you that I was getting a divorce?
MARGUERITE
It was Louisa. She is concerned for you.
DIANE
Who’s Louisa?
MARGUERITE
You know…from church. Louisa Philleep?
DIANE
Louise Phillips?
MARGUERITE
She was just here…with Marjorie…
DIANE
Margie. Oh. And did Louise tell you something that Margie shared with her? In confidence?
MARGUERITE
Oh…she seemed pretty confident! What? Something is not right?
DIANE
Yeah…all of it.
MARGUERITE
What?
DIANE
It’s all false!
Well…well…look who we have here! Louisa and Marjorie!
MARGIE
Margie
LOUISE
Louise
MARGIE
Great to see you Marguerite! I wish you had done my make-over! I have to run… see you ladies at church!
BOTH
Bye!
MARGUERITE
Well…looks like you have the make-up going well already.
LOUISE
Well, we were talking and I just sort of started fooling around with it. I’m sure I didn’t do it right since my mind was totally elsewhere.
MARGUERITE
I’ll touch it up…not to worry.
LOUISE
That conversation just left me rather numb. It really upset me now that I’m thinking about it.
MARGUERITE
Really? You are upset! What makes you upset?
LOUISE
It’s so sad. Just before I got here, our friend Diane was here.
MARGUERITE
Diana Bleedsoe?
LOUISE
Yes. And she was telling Margie all about her husband and their marriage…
MARGUERITE
What happened? Are they having marriage problems? Divorce?
LOUISE
Oh…major! I think David has flipped out or something. He did something at work and got himself fired. It might have had something to do with him not being a union member…you know how they hate scabs…
MARGUERITE
He has scabs? Did he get hurt?
LOUISE
Well, that’s not the worst part. He’s been out of work so long that they are financially stripped…
MARGUERITE
He strips?
LOUISE
No…they have no money.
MARGUERITE
Oh dear.
LOUISE
And now there is violence!
MARGUERITE
Violins? I didn’t know he played! Does it pay well?
LOUISE
No. Violence. He is getting violent.
MARGUERITE
How do you mean?
LOUISE
Well, she said something about her almost getting her head knocked off… which sounds like he hit her hard on her head.
MARGUERITE
In the face? That’s terrible!
LOUISE
I didn’t see her, but Margie said that she didn’t see any bruises.
MARGUERITE
You can cover them up with make-up. Oh dear! Poor Diana! She should call the police.
LOUISE
The man needs help, obviously! You know, men put so much stock in their jobs…that is who they are! They define themselves by their vocations.
MARGUERITE
Do you think taking a vacation would help?
LOUISE
No…VO-cations. Careers. When that falls out from under them… they can really lose it! There is nothing worse for a man than to be out of work.
MARGUERITE
My husband is out of work right now.
LOUISE
No! Seriously?
MARGUERITE
Well, he’s just between jobs. He’s looking. I’m sure something will turn up soon.
LOUISE
Oh dear. You be careful! This thing with Diane and David could be a sign for you! It’s a warning.
MARGUERITE
Pierre would never be like that.
LOUISE
Well, I would say the same thing about my husband. But we all know David Bledsoe! Who would have thought? (Looking straight ahead as if in a mirror) Oh, Marguerite…that looks so nice. You always do such good work. Let me tip you.
MARGUERITE
Oh no… these are all free today, remember?
LOUISE
Yes, I know…but your husband is out of work and you could end up…well, who knows? You take this. (She pulls some bills out of her purse and puts them into her hands) I just wish there was something I could do for Diane. You take care, sweetie!
Louise exits and Marguerite sits in the chair and thinks. Diane enters again.
DIANE
Marguerite! You are working today!
MARGUERITE
Oh Diana! You poor dear! I know all about it! Let me look at you. Are you hiding something under the make-up?
DIANE
A few pimples maybe.
MARGUERITE
Don’t be afraid. I know about the bruises. You will survive this! Here…take this. You need it worse than I do. Someone just gave it to me, but I want you to have it. (Puts the money in her hand)
DIANE
Marguerite! What on earth?
MARGUERITE
Do you need a place to go? If he is crazy, then you should not stay there. Call the police!
DIANE
Who? What are you talking about?
MARGUERITE
David!
DIANE
My David? What about him?
MARGUERITE
Oh! You are in denial.
DIANE
Apparently. What is going on? I’ve never seen you like this!
MARGUERITE
Divorce is very sad… but if he hits you…you can’t stay with him!
DIANE
David has never hit me! Marguerite!
MARGUERITE
He needs a new vacation! I know! But I don’t think stripping is the answer!
DIANE
You aren’t making a lick of sense! Who told you that I was getting a divorce?
MARGUERITE
It was Louisa. She is concerned for you.
DIANE
Who’s Louisa?
MARGUERITE
You know…from church. Louisa Philleep?
DIANE
Louise Phillips?
MARGUERITE
She was just here…with Marjorie…
DIANE
Margie. Oh. And did Louise tell you something that Margie shared with her? In confidence?
MARGUERITE
Oh…she seemed pretty confident! What? Something is not right?
DIANE
Yeah…all of it.
MARGUERITE
What?
DIANE
It’s all false!
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