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Joshua Crossing The Jordan Monologue

$10.00

This is written for a woman, but could easily be changed to a man. This person was there at the crossing of the Jordan and describes the crossing and also the taking up of the stones from the river to build a memorial on the river bank. Humor is used to tell the story and even modern concepts thrown in for a laugh.
One actor. Takes about 8-10 mins. Easy to edit if you want it shorter.
Excerpt:

EYE WITNESS ACCOUNT OF JOSHUA’S EVENT AT THE RIVER JORDAN

What a day!  One that I will not soon forget!  Now.. if you know me, you know that I am not one for telling tall tales.  That means that my word is usually good.  But when I start telling you what happened… you are going to think that I’m off my nut.  But this really did happen!  Now it all sounds so bizarre and ridiculous and that is what makes it so fantastic!  The only way that any of this could happen was if it was done by God.  I’ll get to the 12 rocks in a bit with all the symbolism and all that… first, let me tell you about the strangest and most amazing thing I have ever witnessed.  There we were… camped on the banks of the Jordan River and none of us could figure out how we were going to cross that river.  It ain’t some little creek… this is a massive river that is always overflowing it’s banks.  Crossing it was going to be no easy feat.  I assumed that they would be making a raft… or ten… and taking lots and lots of trips across.  Now you have to realize that this is long before the invention of floating devices.  Nobody was going to be wearing a life jacket.  No sir… this was going to be more like Huckleberry Finn!  And with that strong current… we were likely to end up in the middle of the Salt Sea!  You might know that as the Dead Sea.  Yeah… dead alright.  We’d all be dead for sure.  I, for one, needed to hear a better plan.  Then I heard it.  As soon as we stepped foot in the water, the river was going to stand up in one heap on our right… as the water flowed down and left… leaving us dry ground to cross over on.  Seriously??  Okay… I know that Joshua was there when that happened with Moses at the Red Sea but really?  Were we going to have another one of those kind of miracles?  YES!  It was amazing and very frightening all at the same time.  But I don’t want to get ahead of myself.God apparently had this plan that involved some intricate details.  First we needed 12 men, representing the 12 tribes.  Each tribe put our best man forward.  Well, I’m from the tribe of Gad… and the man they selected was my dad!  I questioned their decision.  Are you sure this is the guy you want?  They obviously didn’t know him as well as I did!  So, there he was,  my dad the Gad marching with the other 11 men.  The priests were carrying the ark of the covenant.  Talk about rules!  We all knew better than to get anywhere near that thing!  I mean… I had visions of faces melting and other horrors!  But I digress.  So, that morning… when we got ready… the priests led the way with the ark and as they stepped into the water… it all happened!   The river stopped and stood up… I don’t know how else to describe that!  The priests stopped half way across and we walked by them to the other side.  There was some comfort in that… but that didn’t make it any less scary.   I mean, I was half way across when I remembered the part of the story where the Red Sea suddenly came back down and drowned the entire Egyptian army!  I wondered to myself:  We’re still God’s chosen people aren’t we?  I mean, He didn’t bring us out here to drown us in the river… DID HE?  Okay, I admit it… I was doing some praying and confessing about then.  I figured.. hey… it can’t hurt.  Get yourself prayed up, sister! You have to understand… having a huge wall of water standing on your right as you cross was quite daunting. And it just kept getting higher and higher as the river flowed into it. Well, we all got across, safe and sound.They had the army march first, prepared for battle. Well, that included my tribe, the Gads. So, I was actually kind of glad about that… getting us across first. I think all of Gad was glad. …

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