Mom Was A Teenage Ninja

She thinks she already knows all about her mom… but suddenly she is shocked when Mom begins to reveal the strangest things. The stuff is pretty crazy (Rock band? CIA?) and all done for laughs as Dad and Mom seem the most normal people on earth. Read the excerpt. (Co-written with my good friend, Stu Kilgour)

2 females and one male (small part). The daughter is mentioned in the script as being 18, but that can easily be changed to any age you need. She should probably be at least a teenager. Runs between 6 -7 minutes.

Excerpt:

BONNIE
You and Dad were Cubs fans?! When was that?
CONSTANCE
Well, before we had you! (She squeezes her cheek) You little sweetie pie!
BONNIE
I NEVER knew that. That’s crazy! When you lived in Chicago..?
CONSTANCE
Oh yes…
BONNIE
Did you go to a lot of games?
CONSTANCE
Well, some. We didn’t have too much time with the whole Emerald Child thing and with your Dad’s band and all.
BONNIE
Dad was in a band!?!?
CONSTANCE
Oh good night yes! This was before we had you! (She squeezes her cheek) You little sweetie pie!
BONNIE
What kind of band?
CONSTANCE
I guess you would say that it was a blazing rock band. Your father played lead. He called himself Johnny Triplethreat. They called the band Flaming Skull of Death.
BONNIE
Were they any good?
CONSTANCE
Well, they opened for Van Halen once.
BONNIE
I don’t believe this! If they were that good, why didn’t they keep it up?
CONSTANCE
Oh, they all had jobs. Your father had the most difficult schedule to work around. Back then he was flying cargo planes…
BONNIE
Dad was a pilot?
CONSTANCE
Oh, good night, yes! But that was before we had you, sweetie pie! (She squeezes her cheeks again. She keeps a low tone throughout all the exciting info, as if it were nothing) That was during the epic international struggle for the Emerald Child. Yeah… he and his men were rescuing Americans who were wrongly imprisoned overseas.
BONNIE
What?? No way!
CONSTANCE
Oh yes. Things were pretty exciting back then. Well, you know how it is. The Lord calls you and tells you to do something, and you just do it. I was a ninja, you know…
BONNIE
You were a what??
CONSTANCE
Oh…honey…you know all the women were doing that back then….and your father worked for the CIA.
BONNIE
The CIA??
CONSTANCE
Oh…no big deal…he was just in the mail room. Well, eventually, he worked his way up…
BONNIE
Uh oh.
CONSTANCE
But you know him…he doesn’t like to talk about it much. You know how he hates for folks to make a fuss. We were just doing what the Lord wanted us to do. He did do some black ops, though. Lord, I remember those nights. Landsakes (chuckle).
BONNIE
BLACK OPS!!! Wh-what did he do!?!
CONSTANCE
Oh now sweetie, that was a long time ago before we had you! You little sweetie pie!