I Don’t Need That Jesus Stuff!

Two actors. Probably both female, but could be changed to two males.

Excerpt:

LORI: Where have you been? Out with Craig again?

RACHEL: We went to his church.

LORI: Oh, that’s right; he is the religious type isn’t he? What’s
he trying to do, convert you?

RACHEL: No. Well, he did ask me when we first went out if I was a
Christian.

LORI: You see? He is trying to convert you. I told you. All those
Jesus freaks are alike. Once he gets you in his church, then he
drops you and goes after someone else.

RACHEL: It’s not like that. When he asked me, I told him I was one.

LORI: Oh, that’s smart. You avoid a lot of stuff that way.

RACHEL: Well, I actually thought I was a Christian.

LORI: Well, there are Christians… and there are the Jesus freaks.
I think there is a difference.

RACHEL: Well, since I told him I was a Christian, then of course I
was willing to go to church with him. But after going and listening
to the message and reading what it says in my Bible…

LORI: You actually have a Bible?

RACHEL: Lori, what I’m trying to tell you is that now I really am a
Christian. I got saved at Craig’s church. I am totally amazed at
how this is all happening to me! You can’t know what this is like
until you experience it yourself!

LORI: Oh, so he did convert you! You see?

RACHEL: Oh, Craig had nothing to do with it. He didn’t do anything.
He was just being himself. He was talking to me as if I was his
sister in the Lord. But I was beginning to realize that I didn’t
have what he had. Then Jesus just got hold of me and now He is
living inside of me!

LORI: Oh, No! Now my roommate is a Jesus freak! Don’t even start
on me, Rachel!

RACHEL: Have I said anything to you?

LORI: Ever since you walked in the door!

RACHEL: Don’t be silly. I came in and you asked me where I was.
All I have told you is what happened to me. I’m not going to try to
convert you.

LORI: You better not.