Shopping For Baby Jesus

Edith is supposed to find a baby Jesus for the manger scene, and Frank is to read something at the end of the program. What he reads is the truth of why Jesus came and for a second you think it got through to them both. But not these two… one beat later… they are right back on their own hypocritical soap box. We laugh at them because it rings so true, and sometimes it rings a little too close to home.

One couple. About 10 mins.

Excerpt:

FRANK: You just don’t know how to say ‘no’ to people, do you? It’s something every Christian needs to learn. We can’t do everything in the church, you know!

EDITH: I know. (Pause) What else are we doing?

FRANK: Well…. You know…. I am singing in the choir and you did… that thing…

EDITH: What thing?

FRANK: You know…that thing! You made that meal that time…and took it to that home of that lady that had that baby. I still think that someone should have set up a place to meet them with the meal. They lived so far out in the country…and with the price of gas!

EDITH: Oh… I guess so. Sure, sure. You’re right. I remember. And I did offer to help with the Christmas Program, too.

FRANK: Yes… you see? We are already giving our time and talent.

EDITH: So, do you want me to call her back?

FRANK: Oh no! We have to do it now! Backing out would look even worse. What do we have to do anyway?

EDITH: Get people to do it….to fill the shoe boxes.

FRANK: Oh…is that all? Well, that will be easy. That’s with Samaritan’s bag, right?

EDITH: Purse, dear. Samaritan’s purse.

FRANK: You just ask folks if they want to put a box together to send to starving kids in third world countries! Who is going to say ‘no’ to that? We’ll just get more participants than ever before, and no one will notice that there isn’t one in there from us.

EDITH: You don’t want us to do one?

FRANK: Don’t you see? Our ministry will be getting all those people to do it! Their ministry will be doing it! I don’t see why we need to do one if we are in charge.

EDITH: What about leading by example?

FRANK: Yessss….but on the other hand… there is that verse that says not to let your right hand know what your left hand is doing. We don’t want to appear to be showing off.

EDITH: I guess you are right. I never thought of it like that before. You know so much about these things, Frank. Last year, we weren’t in charge, so doing one seemed like the right thing to do. It only cost me $5, anyway.

FRANK: What only cost $5?

EDITH: Buying the stuff to put in the shoebox. I only spent $5.

FRANK: Is that all? Oh… well, go ahead and do one then.

EDITH: Really? Well, alright. Whatever you say, Dear. I do need to go shopping. I promised that I would look for a baby Jesus.

FRANK: A baby Jesus?

EDITH: You know… for the manger scene!

FRANK: What manger scene?

EDITH: Didn’t you hear me earlier say that I offered to help with the Christmas program?

FRANK: They don’t have a baby Jesus? What did they use last year?

EDITH: It appears to be all worn out. Doesn’t look like a real baby anymore. I think some kid pulled all its hair out.

FRANK: Newborns don’t usually have hair!

EDITH: I don’t know, Frank. Maybe they pulled his leg off!

FRANK: And there isn’t a little girl in our church with a doll that will work?

EDITH: I guess not. They do want a baby Jesus that looks lifelike!

FRANK: So, the stores sell baby Jesuses now?

EDITH: Oh… I don’t think so! I just need to buy a doll that looks like a real baby.

FRANK: Well, get one at the 99c store.

EDITH: I never would have thought to look there! Oh… wait, we saw dolls at Piggly Wiggly the other day…

FRANK: But they had pink lips. That would not be appropriate. No one would ever believe it was Jesus with pink lips!

EDITH: But do you think we could find a real lifelike doll at the 99c store?

FRANK: Why did you have to volunteer to find a baby Jesus? You couldn’t just offer to bring a Jell-O salad?

EDITH: I brought a Jell-O salad last year, and then Mildred Throckmorton brought the same salad! I was livid!

FRANK: I don’t remember that! Did I have some of yours or some of hers?

EDITH: I don’t know that! Frank…you are so silly!