2 actresses, about 15 mins.
Excerpt:
Two women enter a shopping mall. As they start talking they could be slowly walking along and perhaps there are bins out in front of the stores that they could stop and glance at… pick up things as they talk.
CONNIE
Well… this doesn’t look too bad.
DEBRA
That’s because we’re getting an early start. I hate shopping at the last minute with all the crowds.
CONNIE
But still… there is something about the hurrying and running around and all the people… it’s kind of exciting…. don’t you think?
DEBRA
Have fun with that!
CONNIE
I guess I know what you mean. I am glad that you suggested this. I will be so happy to get this out of the way. (Pause) But… I also don’t want to rush into anything. I’m trying to give it a lot of thought.
DEBRA
You made a list, right?
CONNIE
Yes. I’ve got my list right here.
DEBRA
Me, too. I can’t wait to check every one of them off.
CONNIE
Do you think you’ll get them all done today?
DEBRA
That’s the plan. Get here early… beat the crowds… find everything easily before it gets all picked through, and then I will be done for another year!
CONNIE
You are so disciplined.
DEBRA
I don’t know about that. I just want to get it over with. I guess if that’s being disciplined…
CONNIE
Do you already know what you are getting everyone?
DEBRA
Well, some of my family has made lists. That makes it so much easier.
CONNIE
Do you always stick to the list? I mean… that kind of takes away the element of surprise. I think it is fun to not know what you are getting and have this pleasant surprise when you open your gift.
DEBRA
Or unpleasant one! I’m sure you can remember when you opened a gift and had to pretend you liked it, but inside you’re thinking, “What am I going to do with this?”
CONNIE
Yes, I guess so.
DEBRA
Like pigs!
CONNIE
Pigs? What do you mean?
DEBRA
Porceline pigs, portraits of pigs, towels with pigs, stuffed pigs. For some reason, everyone is under the impression that I like pigs. So, I get pigs as gifts all the time.
CONNIE
They’re all over your house.
DEBRA
Yes! And if I even see another pig I think I’ll squeal!
CONNIE
You mean like that cuckoo clock pig that oinks on the hour and grunts on the half hour…that I got you that time?
DEBRA
Ooops. Busted.
CONNIE
Perhaps you need to tell people that you’re not really into pigs.
DEBRA
Okay. Well, that’s why we make lists now. Everyone makes a list and you only get stuff you want. Nobody has to pretend… everyone is happy.
CONNIE
Well, my kids do tell me what they want… so I guess that is the same thing. I want them to be happy. But I still want each gift to be special. I want them to have meaning so I pray about what I’m going to get.
DEBRA
You pray about each gift?
CONNIE
I try to.
DEBRA
Oh wow, Connie. That is impressive. It never even occurred to me to bring God in on this.
CONNIE
Well, otherwise, I might get the wrong thing.
DEBRA
Not if it’s on the list. My motto is… “if it’s on the list… that means they wanted it.”
CONNIE
Well, some of my relatives haven’t given me a list. So, I just have to think about who they are and what gift would be right for them. I think about what they would love to open on Christmas, what would please them, and what they would want to receive from me. For instance, my mother-in-law.
DEBRA
Oh dear.
CONNIE
She’s a very sweet lady, but I don’t want to just get her a meaningless gift. Something that I didn’t put much thought into. So, I think about what she might want. The kinds of things that she likes and what her hobbies are and what brings her joy.
DEBRA
When it comes to Eddie’s parents, I just go for broke!
CONNIE
What does that mean?
DEBRA
Cost means nothing. They are people who have everything already… so you have to find something unusual and different and it has to be nice. I often spend more on them than anyone else.
CONNIE
Really? Well, I have to watch my spending. Nothing can be too expensive. My family knows better than to ask for expensive stuff. Hey look over there… they’re having a sale.
CONNIE
Well… this doesn’t look too bad.
DEBRA
That’s because we’re getting an early start. I hate shopping at the last minute with all the crowds.
CONNIE
But still… there is something about the hurrying and running around and all the people… it’s kind of exciting…. don’t you think?
DEBRA
Have fun with that!
CONNIE
I guess I know what you mean. I am glad that you suggested this. I will be so happy to get this out of the way. (Pause) But… I also don’t want to rush into anything. I’m trying to give it a lot of thought.
DEBRA
You made a list, right?
CONNIE
Yes. I’ve got my list right here.
DEBRA
Me, too. I can’t wait to check every one of them off.
CONNIE
Do you think you’ll get them all done today?
DEBRA
That’s the plan. Get here early… beat the crowds… find everything easily before it gets all picked through, and then I will be done for another year!
CONNIE
You are so disciplined.
DEBRA
I don’t know about that. I just want to get it over with. I guess if that’s being disciplined…
CONNIE
Do you already know what you are getting everyone?
DEBRA
Well, some of my family has made lists. That makes it so much easier.
CONNIE
Do you always stick to the list? I mean… that kind of takes away the element of surprise. I think it is fun to not know what you are getting and have this pleasant surprise when you open your gift.
DEBRA
Or unpleasant one! I’m sure you can remember when you opened a gift and had to pretend you liked it, but inside you’re thinking, “What am I going to do with this?”
CONNIE
Yes, I guess so.
DEBRA
Like pigs!
CONNIE
Pigs? What do you mean?
DEBRA
Porceline pigs, portraits of pigs, towels with pigs, stuffed pigs. For some reason, everyone is under the impression that I like pigs. So, I get pigs as gifts all the time.
CONNIE
They’re all over your house.
DEBRA
Yes! And if I even see another pig I think I’ll squeal!
CONNIE
You mean like that cuckoo clock pig that oinks on the hour and grunts on the half hour…that I got you that time?
DEBRA
Ooops. Busted.
CONNIE
Perhaps you need to tell people that you’re not really into pigs.
DEBRA
Okay. Well, that’s why we make lists now. Everyone makes a list and you only get stuff you want. Nobody has to pretend… everyone is happy.
CONNIE
Well, my kids do tell me what they want… so I guess that is the same thing. I want them to be happy. But I still want each gift to be special. I want them to have meaning so I pray about what I’m going to get.
DEBRA
You pray about each gift?
CONNIE
I try to.
DEBRA
Oh wow, Connie. That is impressive. It never even occurred to me to bring God in on this.
CONNIE
Well, otherwise, I might get the wrong thing.
DEBRA
Not if it’s on the list. My motto is… “if it’s on the list… that means they wanted it.”
CONNIE
Well, some of my relatives haven’t given me a list. So, I just have to think about who they are and what gift would be right for them. I think about what they would love to open on Christmas, what would please them, and what they would want to receive from me. For instance, my mother-in-law.
DEBRA
Oh dear.
CONNIE
She’s a very sweet lady, but I don’t want to just get her a meaningless gift. Something that I didn’t put much thought into. So, I think about what she might want. The kinds of things that she likes and what her hobbies are and what brings her joy.
DEBRA
When it comes to Eddie’s parents, I just go for broke!
CONNIE
What does that mean?
DEBRA
Cost means nothing. They are people who have everything already… so you have to find something unusual and different and it has to be nice. I often spend more on them than anyone else.
CONNIE
Really? Well, I have to watch my spending. Nothing can be too expensive. My family knows better than to ask for expensive stuff. Hey look over there… they’re having a sale.
Reviews
There are no reviews yet.