Actors: one couple. About 9-10 mins.
EDITH You do want to give something toward the expansion, don’t you, Frank?
FRANK Of course! We have to give something! I mean… Edith! It’s us! We are pillars in this church! Even if people don’t seem to know who we are anymore… we are pillars! But… we just gave the other day when Annie was begging for money for Samaritan’s Bag
EDITH (Slaps forehead) Samaritan’s Purse, dear.
FRANK Whatever. And now Debbie is begging for donations for Lottie Sun? Lottie Stars?
EDITH (Slaps forehead) Lottie Moon, Frank.
(Lottie Moon should be familiar to any Southern Baptists, but you can insert any organization here that works for you and makes more sense.)
FRANK Yeah, whatever.
EDITH Back to our current project. How much are you thinking we should give?
FRANK I don’t know yet. We can’t go nuts, Edith. We have to really think about this.
EDITH Well, it’s not like anyone knows how much we are giving. All that is done very confidentially.
FRANK Except for when it’s not.
FRANK You might think it is confidential and private. But somebody counts that money, Edith. They record it. It gets put down on paper.. So people know what you give.
EDITH I guess I never thought about that. But I’m sure the people who look at that don’t really pay that close attention to who gave what.
FRANK (Sarcasm) Oh right! I guarantee you they do! They know who are the top givers and who only gives pennies.
EDITH How could they know who threw pennies in the offering plate?
FRANK I don’t mean literal pennies, Edith! I’m talking in metaphors!
EDITH Oh.. metaphors kind of confuse me. I get them mixed up with analogies.
FRANK It’s okay, it happens to the best of us.
EDITH So, what did you think of the pastor’s sermon today, Frank? AFTER he got done talking about the new giving campaign.
FRANK I don’t know. I was so upset about the money talk, that I kind of shut off after that.
EDITH Oh.. It was really good. He was talking about the Holy Spirit working in our lives.
FRANK Oh yeah, I do remember something about that.
EDITH I was just wondering if you have ever felt the Spirit, Frank.
FRANK What do you mean, Edith?
EDITH You know what I mean. If we have the Holy Spirit in our lives… shouldn’t we feel it? Is it IT or Him?
FRANK Him, Edith. He’s the 3rd person of the trinity.
EDITH Let’s not talk about the trinity, that will just make my head swim. But what I mean is… have you ever felt the Spirit in church? Sometimes when we are singing that one song, “How Great Thou Art”.. I get overwhelmed with emotion. It has happened more than once. Is that the Holy Spirit?
FRANK I don’t know. Maybe. Or just sentimentality. Hard to say for sure. I get emotional watching some of those Hallmark movies of yours! That can’t be the Holy Spirit!
EDITH You do? I never knew that!
FRANK That’s because you are sitting over there blubbering like a baby, so you don’t notice me wiping a tear. I’m not a cold hearted man, you know.
EDITH Why can’t that be the Holy Spirit? It touched something inside of us.
FRANK Because it’s a Hallmark movie, Edith! You can’t feel the Holy Spirit watching a Hallmark movie!