This Is Coming At A Bad Time

$15.00

Description:

This is another Frank and Edith sketch. This time, Frank is all worked up over the new building project at church. As they discuss how the plans are coming along and the topic of giving toward it, their hypocrisy shines through everything they say…as always.

Description

One couple. About 8-9 mins.

Excerpt:

EDITH
What do you think, dear?
FRANK
About?
EDITH
About the new building project!
FRANK
What do I think? I don’t know what to think! I just don’t know. (Pause) I’ll tell you what I think… I think they are going about this the wrong way! Just like everything else!
EDITH
How so?
FRANK
I can see it now. They are going to be harping about us all giving and giving all we can till they have this new building paid for!
EDITH
Isn’t that the way it’s always done?
FRANK
I suppose…but I hate that. That constant begging for us to give gets old really fast. They will bleed us all dry before this thing is done!
EDITH
You do want to give something toward the new building, don’t you?
FRANK
Oh, of course! We have to! We are pillars of the church, Edith! How would it look if we didn’t? But…we just gave the other day when Debbie was begging for money for Samaritan’s Bag.
EDITH
Samaritan’s Purse, dear…and that was a couple of years ago.
FRANK
Whatever. And then we gave when Penny was begging for donations for Lottie Sun.
EDITH
Lottie Moon, Frank.
FRANK
Yeah, whatever.
EDITH
But…back to our current project…I’m sure they will be looking for ways to raise money, too. We could have a bake sale. I could always whip up a batch of brownies.
FRANK
You wouldn’t even make a hundred dollars doing that! We need millions for this project.
EDITH
But Frank… people love to buy goodies. If everyone brought stuff and we went to the park, we might sell a lot of stuff. I might even splurge and make two batches of brownies.
FRANK
Listen to yourself Edith!
EDITH
You think two is too many?
FRANK
That’s not what I’m talking about. I’m talking about all the sacrificial giving that this is going to involve.
EDITH
Any giving is a sacrifice, Frank.
FRANK
Do you really know what it is we will have to sacrifice?
EDITH
What?
FRANK
In order to give a useful and decent amount…we will have to take a chunk out of our savings. And you know what that means?
EDITH
Less interest?
FRANK
It means we may have to cut back on other things.
EDITH
Like what, Frank?
FRANK
Like that new BMW we’ve been talking about.
EDITH
Oh dear.
FRANK
Not to mention our vacations.
EDITH
We might have to cut one of the vacations?
FRANK
One or two.
EDITH
Oh dear.
FRANK
This is just coming at a bad time for us.
EDITH
But the church does need a new building.
FRANK
I think there are other ways to do this.
EDITH
Frank, we will just decide what amount we want to give and no one will have to know, right?
FRANK
Edith. People know.
EDITH
How do they know? Giving is private.
FRANK
They know Edith. You know that verse…”Don’t let your right hand know what your left hand is doing.”
EDITH
Yes…
FRANK
Well, the people who record the giving are left handed!
EDITH
Huh?
FRANK
They don’t follow that verse!
EDITH
I don’t understand.
FRANK
Never mind…it’s not important. (Pause) They’ll know if we drive up in a new car, that we didn’t sacrifice that much! They’ll know if we take that trip to Mazatlan AND the cruise on the Mediterranean…that we didn’t sacrifice that much.
EDITH
Can’t we sacrifice something else, Frank?
FRANK
Well, we could cut out the restaurants?
EDITH
(Clearly disappointed)
Eating out?
FRANK
It is cheaper to eat at home, Edith.
EDITH
You don’t have to cook the meals, I do.
FRANK
Well, maybe if we cut out one of them.
EDITH
We always eat out on Sunday.
FRANK
We’re not cutting out that one. No one expects that.
EDITH
Maybe the Tuesday night meal.
FRANK
Well, we should keep Thursday night, because that is our date night. We need that to keep our marriage strong.

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